The Father's Heart of Love - Briana Byler

Hey everyone, sorry it's been a while since I have written an update, time has sort of slipped away from me recently. It's hard to believe that I only have a month left here. The time has intermittently flown and crawled by. 
    I got back a week ago now from a mini vacation with all of the other girls who are volunteering with me here at the Foundation and we are in BaƱos (pronounced bohn-yos), which is a small city situated in a valley surrounded by gorgeous mountains that practically shout about the creativity of our Creator.
    It was a refreshing time for all us to connect as a group, share stories and struggles from the Foundation, and do some crazy adrenaline filled things.
    My mother always asked me if all of my friends jumped off of a bridge, would I? And I can honestly say "yes" to that question now. We went 'puenting' which is 'bridge jumping' in Spanish. It's basically like bungee jumping except you have a body harness on and when you jump you don't bounce up and down for a little, you just swing back and forth. I screamed like I was about to die, but thankfully I didn't :) 
    We also went on a hike to a waterfall and up a to a cross, swung on some really high swings out over the edge of a mountain and went to a natural hot springs. Needless to say, it's been a great time.
    Okay, so as far as how things are going at the Foundation, I am glad to say that they are going better. I have been feeling a lot more love and gratefulness from the kids lately, they may not always know how to say that they appreciate us being there, but there hugs and want to spend more time with me has been words enough lately, it is going to be so hard to say a forever goodbye to each of them.
    I feel so selfish for wanting the kids to love me back, because that means they are getting attached to me, and then when I leave it's not only going to hurt me but it's going to hurt them as well.
    God has been teaching me about the Father's love and it is more of a continuous learning about it than a new revelation. In the past couple of years in Spain, Columbus, at home and here God has been showing me different aspects of his love. He has shown me how He still loves me even though I run away from Him and tell Him I hate Him and to shut up. God has shown me how He still loves me even though i fight against the corrections that will help me to better understand how life works, and how He still loves me even though I bite and scratch against His embraces that I so desperately long for
    All of these lessons God has taught me through the kids that I get the privilege of loving and helping to take care of. 
    I have been hit, bit, slapped, swung at, almost beaned by a rock in the face. I have been yelled at, cursed at, and run away from. I have cried, anguished and have had my heart broken all because of these kids. But you know what? I wouldn't trade any of those moments for being at home in my safe comfort zone, because it has shown me how to love without always feeling that love back, it has taught me that love truly is a choice, and no matter what they do, I will always love them. And that is exactly how God loves us. 
    I wouldn't say that I want to come early but I think when the time comes I will be ready but when I have to say goodbye to these kids who hold my heart I know that there will be may tears, but I am excited to be at home with my family and all of you again.
    Thank you again for all of your prayers, you have no idea how much they have helped, it has been easier knowing that my church family is standing with me in prayer.
  Talk to you all later, with many blessings, Briana